The Two Deadly Errors in Essay Openings

⚠️ The Two Deadly Errors in Essay Openings

Both of these opening patterns appear in AQA examiner reports every year. Both auto-cap the essay below Level 3. Both are easy to fix once you know what to replace them with.

PRIMARY: "In this essay I will discuss…" (Sin 1 — Plot Retelling variant)

This opening commits the structural equivalent of Sin 1: instead of retelling plot, it retells the essay before writing it. The examiner cannot award above Level 1-2 for a sentence that contains no analysis — it is a table of contents, not a claim.

The same problem appears in subtler forms: "Shakespeare wrote Macbeth in the early 1600s, during the reign of King James I." This is historical scene-setting, not a literary argument. Or "Throughout the play, Macbeth is shown to be a very complex character." This describes what is going to happen (complexity will be shown) rather than arguing what it means.

Wrong opening (Level 1-2)

"In this essay I will discuss how Shakespeare presents the theme of ambition in Macbeth. Ambition is a very important theme in the play. I will look at several key scenes."

Right opening (Level 5)

"Shakespeare uses ambition not as a character trait but as the play's central question: what does unchecked desire produce? The 'vaulting ambition, which o'erleaps itself' soliloquy (1.7) places Macbeth's self-diagnosis BEFORE Lady Macbeth's persuasion — Shakespeare argues that the fall is engineered from within, not imposed from without."

SECONDARY: "Macbeth is an ambitious man who…" (Sin 4 — Characters as Real People)

The moment you write "Macbeth is an ambitious man", you have committed to treating a literary construct as a real person with inherent personality traits. This closes every analytical door: if his ambition is just who he IS, there is nothing to argue about.

The fix is a single word swap. "Macbeth is ambitious" → "Shakespeare presents Macbeth as ambitious." Now the writer is back in the frame. Now there are choices to discuss: WHY does Shakespeare present him this way? HOW does the presentation evolve? WHAT does it argue?

P5 Aisha: this error is the most common misconception in exam-skills topics, and it is subtle because it sounds analytical. "He is driven by his ambition" sounds like analysis; it is not. "Shakespeare structures the soliloquy to show ambition driving the character from within" is analysis.